{"id":9854,"date":"2023-07-05T12:41:54","date_gmt":"2023-07-05T19:41:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pacmh.org\/?p=9854"},"modified":"2024-04-15T12:17:05","modified_gmt":"2024-04-15T19:17:05","slug":"conflict-as-a-catalyst-for-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pacmh.org\/conflict-as-a-catalyst-for-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"Conflict As A Catalyst For Growth"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Conflict rarely feels good. Most of us avoid it at all costs. Others of us may decide to confront conflict head-on but leave damage in our wake. Regardless, when conflict occurs, disruptive and unsettling thoughts and emotions swirl in our minds and hearts. Our experience of conflict feels negative, so whether we think it explicitly or not, we might naturally conclude that conflict itself is \u2018negative\u2019 or \u2018bad.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what if conflict is an inevitable part of being human? And what if we reframed it as an opportunity for transformation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While we may long for an idealized version of relationships where a feeling of comfort and safety perpetually resides – and may even find ourselves picturing that as a healthy relationship, friction in close relationships – particularly long-term romantic relationships – is inevitable. Over time how we respond and what we do with that friction determines how our relationships will be impacted. Conflict presents us with an opportunity to grow. Author and psychotherapist Resmaa Menakem writes, \u201cParadoxically, the only way to ease your pain is to accept it, work with it, and use it as fuel for growth. Only by leaning into your pain can you move through it and out of it\u201d (Menakem, 2020, p. 28).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want to pause here and say that it\u2019s necessary to delineate between inevitable relational conflict and harmful conflict. If you are in a relationship where you experience physical or emotional abuse, this is harmful conflict. This blog post is not intended to speak to this destructive type of conflict. Abuse is never okay. If this is you, please reach out to a therapist <\/a>to get the support that you need.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat Is Your Conflict Style?<\/strong> <\/h3>\n\n\n\n