I used to think of suggestions such as “sit and breathe… just meditate for 5 minutes” as short of impactful to say the least. Eventually I stumbled upon the idea of being present. The concept sounded serene and poetic—something that my brain could latch onto and think blissful thoughts about. I enjoyed reading about the idea and it allowed me to imagine something other than the busy chaos my mind so easily and often turned to. Eventually, after countless books and articles, I finally became convinced that being present is no miracle phenomenon that fixes everything once it occurs. Instead, it might just be a practice that consists of some of the suggestions I deemed so silly before. Perhaps, it has potential to bring much groundedness and peace practicing over time. We can offer ourselves and others the gift of being present.
When we are not being present we are time traveling
Either to the future or the past. As humans, we tend to dwell on memories which can keep us on a spinning wheel of regret or “what ifs”. Similarly, we can be apt to live in the future by anxiously ruminating on what is to come and what could be. Memory and imagination serve us well when used in appropriate ways. However, when used to escape the present or to incessantly find attempts to control future outcomes, they can leave us bereft of the only reality we actually have much control over: the here and now.
Be Present through your body
How we connect to the here and now is a journey in itself. It can be a foreign practice that proves quite difficult but there are a few ways to begin practicing connection to the here and now. One way is through our bodies. Our bodies are only ever in the present—although we often disconnect from our bodies. Practicing noticing our senses can be helpful in reconnecting us to our bodies and the current moment. This may mean noticing the smell in the air or rubbing your palms together or stretching and noticing the sensations that occur therein. Maybe it means practicing a grounding exercise such as visually noting five things surrounding you at the moment.
Be Present Through Breathing
Another way to practice presence is being mindful of your breath. Of course breathing happens naturally without effort (as long as everything is functioning as it should), but breathwork provides a natural rhythm connected to the body that awareness can be shifted to as a practice of mindfulness and grounding in the body.
Practice Meditation
Meditation is another helpful tool when practicing mindfulness and grounding. Meditation sometimes includes a phrase or a word which is repeated as an anchoring point. Other forms of meditation may be a practice of silence and stillness. Practicing being present is just that—a practice. Of course people will experience many distractions initially, but trying 3 minutes of meditation may be a great place to begin such a practice instead of aiming for a frustrating or discouraging such as 30 minutes of this new practice.
Whether 3 or 30 minutes, distractions that come up are not something to be judged. They are natural. It is the rumination on these distractions that can lead to distortions of our realities, moods, and thoughts. Instead of shutting down and giving up, notice the distractions and the movements to disconnect from the body and shift into the mind and possibly time travel to the past or future. These things are information. What is coming up may give insight into what is being needed, desired, or feared. The thoughts that come to mind and what we want to do with them can be informative as to what we are used to and what we expect and feel necessary to invest in. These thoughts can be acknowledged and then allowed to pass on to shift back to the present.
Presence is a gift
Change occurs over time when we practice being present. We may find we are better able to sit with ourselves and our bodies may begin to feel more like home. Incremental change will occur as we grow in our ability to connect with ourselves in the here and now. We grow an acceptance of reality as it is and then we can choose to act from there. Certainly there will be moments of us trying to leave ourselves again and again as we are pulled towards old, anxious habits. Notice and acknowledge these moments with kindness and transition back into focusing on the present moment. Eventually, we may find ourselves to be the safest and most anchoring space we have.
Read more articles from the Pacific Mental Health therapist team https://pacmh.org/blog/
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