We look for partners who are similar to ourselves. In the process of dating we come to love and cherish the time we spend with them. However, for whatever reason stressors and differences of opinion cause conflict. We often enter the relationship with an expectation of our partner (i.e. financial, emotional, sexual, etc.) based on prior dating and family upbringing. When our partner doesn’t meet our pre-established expectations we become disappointed in them. To make matters worse, we each have difficulty breaking cycles of unhealthy communication (i.e. fighting, yelling, belittling, etc.). Through couples counseling you will learn to rekindle the love and respect for your partner that was lost along the way. You can receive greater insight into how you contribute to the relationship both positively and negatively. By taking accountability for personal involvement in the relationship, you can begin to question the unrealistic expectations developed in your partner and begin to overcome the disappointment in them. In an equal partnership, each person works side by side with equal effort. When one over-functions for the other, the balance is off-set and difficulties inevitably arise, resentment sets in, and bitterness takes hold. The bitterness than translates to increased agitation or a wondering eye. In desperation, one partner may even try to extrude control over the other (i.e. financial, physical, sexual withdrawal, silent treatment, etc.), which further damages the relationship and causes confusion in the partner.
Another reason for relational conflict is infidelity. Whether infidelity arises through pornography, strip clubs, prostitution, or flirtation / sexual encounters with close friends; forgiveness and understanding can be acquired to resolve the conflict. You can learn the best way to move forward in the difficult situation. In some situations separation or divorce is the best option. However, the majority of couples can work through the conflict and resolve their emotions (i.e. anger, sadness, frustration, depression, confusion, etc.) to become stronger and more connected. The journey is difficult and the excuses long for reasoning to jump ship. However, if you and your partner are dedicated to the recovery process anything is possible.